On Sept. 13th, MTV will once again offer up the Video Music Awards for your viewing pleasure. Because even though MTV no longer actually airs videos or really anything that has to do with music anymore, the network is still compelled to spew into our vacuous little brains all that is hip, hot, and posh.
Remember when the VMA’s were an Event in our young lives? The show had the funniest hosts, the coolest performances, and wave after wave of surprising hijinks? Here’s a refresher course:
Guns N Roses & Elton John perform “November Rain” circa 1992
A wasted Courtney Love throws stuff at Madonna
And who can forget the 2002 promo when Jimmy Fallon made Natalie Portman date him for a week?
So what can 2009’s VMA’s possibly offer? Well, some good things and some not so good things.
BAD: Russell Brand is hosting. Again. As a drinking game, you should throw back a shot every time he does or says something pervy. You’ll be wasted by the first commercial break. Trust.
GOOD: Jay-Z is performing.
BAD: So is Beyoncé.
GOOD: The New Moon cast will be introducing an extended trailer of the film. And yes, Kristen Stewart will probably look bored and put-upon for having to promote her movie (what, like that’s her job?!), but The Delicious will also be in attendance so I’ll be fighting the urge to lick my television screen.
BAD: No matter how squee-inducing the new trailer is, we still have to wait till November for that shizz.
GOOD: I will be anxious to see what kind of tribute MTV is concocting for Michael Jackson. Stay tuned.
BAD: Lady GaGa is performing. Now, I don’t love or hate Lady GaGa. But I do find her outfits annoyingly distracting and I can’t imagine she’ll be that good live. Assuming she will be singing live, which, knowing MTV, is always a crapshoot.
And so, I expect this year’s VMA’s to be a mixed bag. But one thing I do know for certain: I won’t be seeing that hot mess live.
Cuz the 13th is the season finale of True Blood😉