run-on sentence of the day: easter candy

30 03 2009


Although not a huge fan of candy myself, I do notice many people getting all amped up and ready to nom down on assorted chocolate confections, eggs stuffed with anything from peanutbutter to some kind of sick liquid sugar that resembles egg innards, and colorful, marshmallow wildlife (in the beginning, there were peeps, as in chicks, but then all of a sudden the Powers That Be declared, “one kind of squishy, marshmallow animal cannot possibly be enough in this great democracy of ours, so let there be bunnys!”) during this ever so holy time of year.


in the nooz: madonna, crabs, and legal weed (not necessarily in that order)

27 03 2009


I like to keep my tots informed, so here’s a collection of headlines that are especially important and relevant to your life:

1.  Your crabs are NOT as happy as you think they are…

2.  Hungry? Why not cook some toilet sausage?

3. Take that Angelina! Madonna is adding to her child army!

4.  Dude, Obama just totally killed my buzz…

jackson rathbone. oh yeah, he’s kinda a hottie.

27 03 2009


Why, hello Jackson Rathbone!

Maybe it was just cuz all his character, Jasper Hale,  did in the first movie (and if you’re saying “what movie?” then you get a spanking) was hang around and look nervous/mortified, but Jackson Rathbone may be the most overlooked actor in the whole Twilight hoopla.

411 on Jackson Rathbone:  He’s in a band with the very unfortunate name of “100monkeys.”  Wonder if they’re any good?  He was also a guest star on The O.C. and Close To Home.  Oh, and he has a sweet name and seriously intense green eyes!

I came across these pictures of JRath? JBone? JackBone? (teehee)…and wow.  Nummy num num!  Yes, I am feeling a little naughty today, tots.  It’s Friday, after all!

Check out the pics while I take a cold shower…





robert pattinson smells. i fail to see the issue.

25 03 2009


Okay so I’m facing the fact that I have a filthy, dirty habit and his name is Robert Pattinson.

And speaking of filthy and dirty, apparently the Delicious has a tendency to go “au natural.”

No, not nekkid, we aren’t THAT lucky!  RP likes to freshen the world with his man scent with as little soap as possible.

E!online reports that sources are all abuzz over the Delicious’ refusal to bathe:

He stinks. I mean, it’s awful. He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy.

Crazy in love maybe! We do love our dirty boys, don’t we girls?

a cool photoblog

24 03 2009


I stumbled upon “Futilitarian PhotoBlog” and I thought the author/photographer’s  (a Mr. Kevin Abbot) work was awesome.

So, I thought I’d share.  Because I’m just kind of great like that.

Ch-check it out!

inneresting fact: dolphins & chuck norris have this in common…

24 03 2009


Fact:   Dolphins sleep with one eye open.

the wedding philes: premarital counseling

24 03 2009


So The Specialist (my fiance was in the Army) and I had our first premarital counseling session this past week.

Now, even if you’re not getting married in a house of God (you heathenish tot!), I would still recommend having a sit down with a family counselor,  psychiatrist, voodoo priestess, whatever, before the big day cometh.  Like so many horses of the Apocalypse…

Why?  Because it’s pure comedy, my friend.

There’s a few things you need to know before experiencing the masochistic joy of premarital counseling:

1.  Be prepared to talk.  Alot.  Even if you don’t want to.  Even if you’ve physically stapled your lips shut prior to the appointment, something will get you to talk.  And if you’re a female, you will talk, and talk, and talk, and talk.  Because you’ll be utterly convinced that this person sitting behind the mahogany desk is fully qualified to totally fix the relationship that, prior to walking into the office, you didn’t realize was broken.

2.  Your guy will look like the proverbial deer in the headlights for most of the session.  He will restrict his answers to one syllable words, much like a Neanderthal.  “This make Bob feel bad.”

3.  Even though you’re the one who vented, and he’s the one who stubbornly remained tight-lipped, you’re gonna walk out of there feeling like everything is your fault.  That’s right, your relationship is crap piled on poop and you’re queen of the hill.

4.  Thank goodness for step 4!  Because that brings you to the second session.  Yep, you ARE sadistic enough to actually put yourself through all of that again.  You will have to bribe him to go, of course, but you have to bribe him to do most stuff so it’s no biggie.  The second session is the complete opposite of the first.  You enter the office in full-on whipped puppy mode.  And that’s good, because when your guy sees that you’ve learned a little humility, he starts to open up.  And magically, progress is made.

5.  Your relationship goes from great to amazing, and you realize that in the midst of the chaos of planning your wedding, you momentarily forgot the actual marriage—you know, that thing that starts the day after the ceremony?

Counseling helped me to reprioritize my, well, priorities.  It made me pause to really look at my habits, my shortcomings, and how those might influence the way I interact with The Specialist (he wasn’t totally let off the hook either).   But we also talked about how we really do compliment each other, and ways we can work better as a team.

In closing, you don’t need to feel like your relationship is precariously close to the edge before you go to counseling.  It’s just a healthy thing to try—making sure that you’re doing everything you can to start out your life together on the right foot.

And do the world a favor and film the sessions for a possible sitcom.