inneresting fact: booze bucket no-no’s.

17 07 2009

bucket-of-smiles

It’s illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while you’re sitting on a curb in St. Louis.

BUT if you stand up, it’s totally okay. So go ahead and swig that bucket of booze. Just pour it all over your head and face in a fit of joy!

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king of pop haunts neverland?

17 07 2009

As if Neverland Ranch wasn’t creepy enough, check out this video:





harry’s hair makes me mad

16 07 2009

This…THIS…is just so unfortunate. Observe:

harry-potter1__oPt

And you say, “Yeah, it’s the poster for the new fantazamalistic Harry Potter flick.  So?”

“But look at the HAIR!” I screech, throwing my mimosa into the face of a scantily-clad cabana boy.

Because the Potter hair, my poolside loving tots, is more tragic than the death of Albus Dumbledore.  Seriously.  It looks like my Dad’s haircut circa 1983.  With every movie, it seems to get worse!

Listen up Warner Brothers, *sits up in her lounge chair and removes her sunglasses for emphasis*  I’m gonna let you in on a little secret:  sexy, careless hair sells.  Um, helllllooooo…

Robert-Pattinson-as-Cedric-Diggory Meh.

robert-pattinson Mwah 😉

Harry was actually IN a forest with a unicorn!  Why can’t he HAVE a unicorn forest?  On his head.





what i’m looking forward to (& so should you…be…looking forward…to these things as well.)

7 07 2009

Title fail.

So I’m feeling a little blue today, tots.  Many people hate Mondays, but I happen to think Tuesday is the worst day of the week.  Like, you can’t feel the righteous anger that Monday inspires, because on Tuesday, you’re supposed to just suck it up and face the week.  And on Tuesday, you can’t even feel the joy of Wednesday, which is hump day, signaling the half-way point of the work week and also the riotous glee of randomly humping someone or something.  Wait, you don’t do that part?  Hmm…maybe that’s just me…

So to perk myself back up, I decided to list some things that I can’t wait to add to my pantheon of happy-happy-joy-joy experiences.

1.  Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is opening July 15th.  That’s next week, chickens!  I’m excited to let my inner 12 year-old stuff herself with popcorn and candy whilst unabashedly weeping over the late, great, Albus Dumbledore.

2.  Album releases from those who continue to flog that dead pony, including:

The Dead Weather (Horehound July 14th)–I actually  like this band, but seriously, how many side projects does Jack White need?

Kenny Loggins (All Join In July 21st)–If it’s not a movie  soundtrack, I am sadly uninterested.  And so is everyone else.

Jordin Sparks (Battlefield July 21st)–Oh honey, your career was over before it began.

Sugar Ray (Music for Cougars July 21st)–At least Sugar Ray has come to terms with the fact that any fans they have left are of the aged variety.

3.  Fairs.  I love fairs.  Give me some carnies and a goat milking contest and I am a happy tot.

carnie

4.  True Blood every Sunday on HBO.  The show, now in its second season, just gets hotter (I’m sorry, but Alexander Skarsgård is rapidly becoming the new Delicious! Or maybe co-Delicious?).  Who else rejoiced when you found out that Lafayette is still alive?  Tip yo waitress!

300.trueblood.skarsgard.alex.lc.062909





ron weasley had swine flu

6 07 2009

Rupert Grint

So apparently Rupert Grint had a spot of the old A(H1N1) virus, known the world over as (dum dum DUM!) swine flu.

And now I shall say something to tie this random fact in with the Harry Potter series, because as we all know, Grint is one of the stars of the film adaptations:

*Ahem*

Someone call Madame Pomfrey!

Swine flu curses at Hogwarts?

Somehow I blame Draco Malfoy!

And I’m over it.

Rupert Grint, who has one of the most British names in all of Britaindom, is perfectly fine.  He just had to spend a few days in bed.  The hubbub from the press will undoubtedly last much longer.

But here’s a question to pick your brain…

Do you think the Harry Potter franchise (merch, movies, and amusement park) will gradually lose steam now that the books are over?  I don’t know, tots.  Kids have a pretty short attention span.





vassup?!

3 07 2009

michael-jackson31 hotdog

Hello Tots!

My, how the time does fly! It’s been so long since I’ve posted and yes, I have heard about it and yes, I have been publicly flogged in the streets for my negligence. So…bygones?

I wish we could all sit together with a lovely cup of tea and discuss what has been happening in your lives, my life, and the world since my last post. But since hosting a world-wide Hatertots Summit is sort of out of my budget at the moment (hey, there’s a recession people!), we’ll just have to communicate via the blog. That’s not so bad, right? A bit one-sided though.

Let’s see…*taps finger on chin* what have I been up to…

Oh yes, I got married. So there’s that.

Marriage is fun, challenging, a real headache, and a real joy–all wrapped up in crazy. I will probably post a little about the trials and triumphs of the dreaded first year as the muse strikes, so be prepared. Also, PLEASE comment and share your experiences as well!

Michael Jackson died. If you haven’t heard *rolls eyes*. The bright side is that I’ve totally rediscovered the artist’s vast collection of amazing music. The downside is I’ve been forced to revisit my disappointment in the man. But what can you do, right?

Farrah Fawcett also died. I don’t have much to say about this, as I’m a child of the 80’s as opposed to the 70’s, and therefore I don’t know much about her (the hair, of course, notwithstanding). But I know that she bravely fought for her life, and I can do nothing but respect that.

Robert Pattinson is “dating” eleventy billion different actresses and models.

And Nathan’s Beef Franks were voted the best-tasting hot dogs on Yahoo’s Shine.

So there it is. I shall wrap this up for now, my lovely Tots. You remain the light of my life. Stay hatin’.