the joys of living la vida bipolar

4 06 2009

Okey dokey…

Let me preface this post with a disclaimer:  Thus far, my hatertots has kept things pretty light.  I’m not a shallow tot, it’s just that some things are more fun to talk about, such as the epic hotness that is Robert Pattinson (inserted purely for the tag).  That’s just how I roll.  But…

The other day, a family member said to me, “If someone who didn’t know you read your Facebook updates, they would think you had mental problems.”

Encouraging.  Don’t ya just love the “eff-you” brutal honesty that only your family serve you?  Me neither.

I wanted to quip that these unidentified Facebook  stalkers probably wouldn’t be too far off the mark with their hypothetical observation.  But I didn’t.  Because I was still holding back my pet secret.

Well, my pet’s gone and chewed through its leash.

I’m not sure why I haven’t told many people about my bipolar disorder.  Maybe shame–yeah, that has alot to do with it.  Like, if I were a stronger, better person I wouldn’t have got the stupid thing in the first place.

Buckets of  fear–that people wouldn’t believe me, that they would think I was just being overly dramatic.  (Trust me, if I was going to pick a disease purely on the glam factor, bipolar would NOT be my first choice.  Or my second.  Now, multiple personality disorder on the other hand…)

Fear of being a freak–that people would feel compelled to walk on tippy-tip-tip-toes around me, scared that at any moment I might flip out and go on a rampage.

(And there’s always the comforting fear that I might indeed flip out and go on a rampage.  I’m forever hoping that these would be hugging rampages, thus far no dice.)

There’s alot of people who read this blog that, sadly, I will never have the pleasure of meeting.  But there’s also alot of people who read this blog that I see all the time.  They know me, but they didn’t know that for the past year I’ve been going through all this.   That’s the scary thing.  Be kind, I feel like I forgot to wear pants to school today.  Pretty damn exposed.

So if I’m so flipping uncomfortable, why am I writing this?  Well, I think I’m writing this because, at the core, I’m pretty selfish and writing about all of this makes me feel better.

Don’t despair–my hatertots won’t become “my bipolartots” or anything.  Just from time to time I may share some experiences, things I’ve learned, or something I think may help someone else.  That’s another, more selfless goal for writing about my bipolar disorder.  Maybe someone out there is struggling with this same disease and can relate to, and gain insight from, what I post here.  That is certainly my hope, anyway.

So there it is.  Hmm…I feel kind of…cleansed, actually.  And, since I want to end this on a high note…


the delicious lands in france, yet i’m troubled…

19 05 2009


So Robert Pattinson (known as “Le Délicieux” in France) arrived in Cannes yesterday looking as pale and self-deprecating as usual. But yes, he’s still my boo.

Hmm…as I’ve said before, the hair is really starting to aggravate me. I mean, I would celebrate with naked times in it, but then I’d have to send it back to the unicorn dimension it truly belongs in.

Here’s Rob trying to keep the majesty at bay…





It kinda reminds me of Binky the Clown…


some fail…just cuz it’s monday

18 05 2009

Here’s something random for you today:

I like to see FAILs because it’s so much more funner (grammar fail) than seeing WINs–unless you’re one of those weird pseudo-hippie glitter heads, in which case, this is for you:


Wow…did I just make up an entire new social group?  If you’re a  “weird pseudo-hippie glitter head,” could you please let me know?

Anyway, in honor of this truly wretched Monday, here’s a big, fat FAIL!  Suck on it!

creed boasts comeback…in other news, cricket chirping is suddenly on the increase…

6 05 2009


I don’t like Creed. I especially don’t like the fact that they’re kicking of their yawn-tacular tour in my hometown of Pittsburgh. It makes my tots shrivel just thinking about Scott Stapp and his fugness. Dude’s about as relevant as my arse.

What I do like, however, is the excellent article Spin did about Creed rearing it’s ugly head. Check it OUT!

inneresting fact: do your moose spotting w/both feet on the ground, mister!

24 04 2009


Alaska law says that you can’t look at a moose from an airplane.

Speaking of the majestic moose, here’s the Swedish Chep making some “chocolate moose”

the wedding philes: are diy invites worth it?

20 04 2009


I consider myself a pretty computer-savvy tot, so when the time came to pick out wedding invites, I decided to take the economical route and buy the “do it yourself” wedding invites at my local craft store.


WARNING: It has been my unfortuante experience that these DIY invitations can be more of a hassle and money-pit than going to a professional to have your invites done.


1.  Not all  kits are created equal. My kit, although cute, has no extra paper included for  reception information, directions to the church and reception venue, etc.  This meant that I ended up having to try to match and buy similar stationary to include in my invitations.

2. Your printer gets a heck of a workout. Think about the cost of buying extra ink for your printer AND if your printer can do a nice job on all of the invites.  My printer did okay, but some things I had to make bold just so it would show up better on the paper.  Which of course meant wasting ink.  Also, I had to print every piece of stationary individually because my printer kept lining things up wrong if I tried to print more than 2 invites, labels, rsvp cards, etc.  in consecutive order.

3.  Labels are a p.a.i.n. I had to cut and paste all of my addresses onto their pre-made labels.  Argh!

4.  ALL assembly required. Once everything is printed out, you lose what sanity you were hanging onto by putting together 200+ invitations.

So, my advice is, if you’re going to do the DIY invitations, make sure you have the time, proper equipment, and desire.  Also, these kits aren’t as cheap as you may think they are.  And lastly, if you choose DIY, do yourself a favor and keep it simple!

Happy printing!

inneresting fact: feel a little bloated? maybe you’re carrying your own twin!

14 04 2009


India resident Sanju Bhagat always had bit larger stomach, but he got extremely worried when it suddenly started growing bigger and bigger. Thirty year old Sanju Bhagat was rushed to hospital and his stomach condition was diagnosed as an stomach tumor. To a doctor’s surprise it was something extremely different and very unusual. From the birth Sanju had his twin brother living inside of him like a parasite. This phenomenon is extremely rare since parasite twin brother has to survive by leaching on its brother’s blood supply. This bizarre medical conditions is called fetus in fetu and it occurs when a fetus gets trapped inside of its twin. Doctor Mehta who was operating Sanju Bhagat said: “First, one limb came out, then another limb came out. Then some part of genitalia, then some part of hair, some limbs, jaws, limbs, hair.”

Oh man…that’s just so gross.