2009 vma’s will likely be a mixed bag

3 09 2009

On Sept. 13th,  MTV will once again offer up the Video Music Awards for your viewing pleasure.  Because even though MTV no longer actually airs videos or really anything that has to do with music anymore, the network  is still compelled  to spew into our vacuous little brains all that is hip, hot, and posh.

Remember when the VMA’s were an Event in our young lives?  The show had the funniest hosts, the coolest performances, and wave after wave of surprising hijinks? Here’s a refresher course:

Guns N Roses & Elton John perform “November Rain” circa 1992

A wasted Courtney Love throws stuff at Madonna

And who can forget the 2002 promo when Jimmy Fallon made Natalie Portman date him for a week?

So what can 2009’s VMA’s possibly offer?  Well, some good things and some not so good things.

BAD: Russell Brand is hosting.  Again.  As a drinking game, you should throw back a shot every time he does or says something pervy.   You’ll be wasted by the first commercial break.  Trust.

GOOD: Jay-Z is performing.

BAD: So is Beyoncé.

GOOD: The New Moon cast will be introducing an extended trailer of the film.  And yes, Kristen Stewart will probably look bored and put-upon for having to promote her movie (what, like that’s her job?!), but The Delicious will also be in attendance so I’ll be fighting the urge to lick my television screen.

BAD: No matter how squee-inducing the new trailer is, we still have to wait till November for that shizz.

vman2-robert-pattinson-new-moon

GOOD: I will be anxious to see what kind of tribute MTV is concocting for Michael Jackson.  Stay tuned.

BAD: Lady GaGa is performing.  Now, I don’t love or hate Lady GaGa.  But I do find her outfits annoyingly distracting and I can’t imagine she’ll be that good live.  Assuming she will be singing live, which, knowing MTV, is always a crapshoot.

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And so, I expect this year’s VMA’s to be a mixed bag.  But one thing I do know for certain: I won’t be seeing that hot mess live.

Cuz the 13th is the season finale of True Blood 😉

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robert pattinson: drawn to kristen stewart’s angry mullet

13 08 2009

twilight_72409_m

I really don’t consider myself a whorish fan-girl…gawd, I’m lying so much right now I may actually burst into flames…but yeah, I’ve been reading the same articles AND seeing the same pics as you have.

You Stewart & Pattinson ‘shippers should be in deep squee at the moment–cuz they’re totally hooking up.

But should you believe everything you see and read on the innernets? Yes, my little tot. Yes you should.

Check don’t wreck it…





harry’s hair makes me mad

16 07 2009

This…THIS…is just so unfortunate. Observe:

harry-potter1__oPt

And you say, “Yeah, it’s the poster for the new fantazamalistic Harry Potter flick.  So?”

“But look at the HAIR!” I screech, throwing my mimosa into the face of a scantily-clad cabana boy.

Because the Potter hair, my poolside loving tots, is more tragic than the death of Albus Dumbledore.  Seriously.  It looks like my Dad’s haircut circa 1983.  With every movie, it seems to get worse!

Listen up Warner Brothers, *sits up in her lounge chair and removes her sunglasses for emphasis*  I’m gonna let you in on a little secret:  sexy, careless hair sells.  Um, helllllooooo…

Robert-Pattinson-as-Cedric-Diggory Meh.

robert-pattinson Mwah 😉

Harry was actually IN a forest with a unicorn!  Why can’t he HAVE a unicorn forest?  On his head.





the joys of living la vida bipolar

4 06 2009

Okey dokey…

Let me preface this post with a disclaimer:  Thus far, my hatertots has kept things pretty light.  I’m not a shallow tot, it’s just that some things are more fun to talk about, such as the epic hotness that is Robert Pattinson (inserted purely for the tag).  That’s just how I roll.  But…

The other day, a family member said to me, “If someone who didn’t know you read your Facebook updates, they would think you had mental problems.”

Encouraging.  Don’t ya just love the “eff-you” brutal honesty that only your family serve you?  Me neither.

I wanted to quip that these unidentified Facebook  stalkers probably wouldn’t be too far off the mark with their hypothetical observation.  But I didn’t.  Because I was still holding back my pet secret.

Well, my pet’s gone and chewed through its leash.

I’m not sure why I haven’t told many people about my bipolar disorder.  Maybe shame–yeah, that has alot to do with it.  Like, if I were a stronger, better person I wouldn’t have got the stupid thing in the first place.

Buckets of  fear–that people wouldn’t believe me, that they would think I was just being overly dramatic.  (Trust me, if I was going to pick a disease purely on the glam factor, bipolar would NOT be my first choice.  Or my second.  Now, multiple personality disorder on the other hand…)

Fear of being a freak–that people would feel compelled to walk on tippy-tip-tip-toes around me, scared that at any moment I might flip out and go on a rampage.

(And there’s always the comforting fear that I might indeed flip out and go on a rampage.  I’m forever hoping that these would be hugging rampages, thus far no dice.)

There’s alot of people who read this blog that, sadly, I will never have the pleasure of meeting.  But there’s also alot of people who read this blog that I see all the time.  They know me, but they didn’t know that for the past year I’ve been going through all this.   That’s the scary thing.  Be kind, I feel like I forgot to wear pants to school today.  Pretty damn exposed.

So if I’m so flipping uncomfortable, why am I writing this?  Well, I think I’m writing this because, at the core, I’m pretty selfish and writing about all of this makes me feel better.

Don’t despair–my hatertots won’t become “my bipolartots” or anything.  Just from time to time I may share some experiences, things I’ve learned, or something I think may help someone else.  That’s another, more selfless goal for writing about my bipolar disorder.  Maybe someone out there is struggling with this same disease and can relate to, and gain insight from, what I post here.  That is certainly my hope, anyway.

So there it is.  Hmm…I feel kind of…cleansed, actually.  And, since I want to end this on a high note…





the delicious lands in france, yet i’m troubled…

19 05 2009

rpatzgreasy

So Robert Pattinson (known as “Le Délicieux” in France) arrived in Cannes yesterday looking as pale and self-deprecating as usual. But yes, he’s still my boo.

Hmm…as I’ve said before, the hair is really starting to aggravate me. I mean, I would celebrate with naked times in it, but then I’d have to send it back to the unicorn dimension it truly belongs in.

Here’s Rob trying to keep the majesty at bay…

RP2

RP3

RP4

RP5

It kinda reminds me of Binky the Clown…

180px-image-binky





robert pattinson smells. i fail to see the issue.

25 03 2009

robert-pattinson-sweaty-pitts

Okay so I’m facing the fact that I have a filthy, dirty habit and his name is Robert Pattinson.

And speaking of filthy and dirty, apparently the Delicious has a tendency to go “au natural.”

No, not nekkid, we aren’t THAT lucky!  RP likes to freshen the world with his man scent with as little soap as possible.

E!online reports that sources are all abuzz over the Delicious’ refusal to bathe:

He stinks. I mean, it’s awful. He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy.

Crazy in love maybe! We do love our dirty boys, don’t we girls?





quote of the flippin’ year

14 03 2009

The hardest part was trying to do it doggie-style. Trying to have a nervous breakdown while doing it doggie-style. And it wasn’t even a closed set. There were all these Spanish electricians giggling to themselves.

That was a quote from The Delicious, talking to GQ about some awkward sexy times during the filimg of “Little Ashes.” (Read: R.Patz’s foray into the artsy fartsy to balance out “Twilight” and Potter)

little-ashes-movie-22